Cliff vs Kyle

Two Week 1 records fell on Sunday, and Cliff was on the wrong end of both. Kyle scored 175.80, the highest opening-week total in ten seasons, clearing Mitch’s 173.78 from 2018. The margin, 76.08, is also a Week 1 record. The previous record, 60.12, was set against Cliff too, so he now holds the old mark and the new one.

Seven of Kyle’s starters reached double figures. Four of Cliff’s did, and one of those was a kicker. D’Andre Swift led Kyle with 32.4, Amon-Ra St. Brown scored 28.7 and Trey McBride 24.5. Jaxon Smith-Njigba added 26.2, including a 45-yard touchdown on fourth-and-1 that tied Seattle’s game with New England. The Steelers defense, drafted with Kyle’s final pick, intercepted Cooper Rush twice and scored 19.

Kyle’s bench scored 96.40 on its own, 3.32 points short of Cliff’s entire team. Christian Watson scored 32.7 there, more than any receiver in the league, and Kyle Monangai added 20.4.

Cliff, a practicing dentist, will recognize his lineup as a mouth with one healthy tooth. Jahmyr Gibbs gained 186 yards and scored twice for 33.6. Kyle Pitts, in his fourth season on Cliff’s roster, caught nothing; the Tight End Desk has the full account. Drake Maye threw three fourth-quarter interceptions in Seattle and finished with 9.82. A.J. Brown had 5.6, and Tetairoa McMillan and James Cook combined for 20.4.

David Montgomery scored three touchdowns from the bench, where Cliff had put him. De’Zhaun Stribling, the biggest reach of the draft, visited the medical tent in Melbourne and scored zero on another continent. Cliff’s best possible lineup was 132.82. It still loses by 43. Sanjay, the YouTube adviser the franchise is named for, could not be reached for comment and is not aware he is involved.

Cliff is 0–1 for the seventh time in ten seasons. At this point Week 1 is less a game than an annual appointment. He is 8–11 against Kyle all-time and plays Drake next. Kyle plays Dite, who has been warned.