Drake vs Kyle

Kyle beat Drake 136.90 to 120.08 and is 3–0. It is his fourth straight win over the commissioner, in a game the two have played in Week 3 every year since 2021, and it puts him ahead in the series 10–9. He is 20–1 against the field, the second-best three-week start in league history behind Cliff’s 21–0 in 2022; the one loss is to Bite, who scored 163 on Sunday. His 494.76 points are the second most through three weeks, behind Drake’s 535.40 in 2020.

This newspaper announced its inspection of the Emporium in last week’s edition. Rhinelander has been through one of these. In the 1890s a man there reported a fearsome beast in the woods, the Smithsonian announced it was coming to look, and the beast turned out to be carved wood. The Emporium was reported in August as possibly the strongest team the league has ever seen. On Saturday night its owner drafted and withdrew three trade offers, two to Carl and one to Cliff, and then sent Ashton Jeanty to Mitch for Justin Jefferson. On Sunday Jefferson caught two passes for 5.2 while Terry McLaurin, Rashee Rice and Zay Flowers scored 50.9 between them on the bench. De’Von Achane hurt his knee on Miami’s first possession and was ruled out with 1.7; the Dolphins’ coach said afterward that it did not sound optimistic. The preseason column said only injuries could derail the team. The juggernaut backfield is now Christian McCaffrey and Chuba Hubbard, the Round 14 pick.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught ten passes for 128 yards and two touchdowns in Seattle’s 33–31 loss at Washington, completed a 14-yard pass, and scored 35.36. James Cook ran 24 times for 154 yards and a touchdown in Buffalo’s 24–16 win over the Chargers, lost a fumble, and scored 19.4 in his first game as an Obliterator. He arrived Wednesday with Sam LaPorta and $15 of waiver money from Cliff, in exchange for Omarion Hampton and Christian Watson. The Tribune’s publisher made that trade, after drafting five versions of it, and now holds $109 of a $100 budget. Hampton and Watson scored 28.2 for Cliff. Cook and LaPorta scored 26.8 for Kyle, 7.4 of it on the bench.

Brock Purdy was the one call Drake got right: 297 yards and four touchdowns in a 36–30 win over Arizona, 31.28. McCaffrey scored 21.6 in the same game. Tyler Warren caught nine passes, Hubbard had 110 yards from scrimmage in the flex, and the Texans defense and Brandon Aubrey scored 10 each. Ladd McConkey, moved in for Flowers late Saturday, scored 10.6 to Flowers’s 15.4. Joe Burrow threw three touchdowns on the bench, 22.58. Jordan Love, picked up within an hour of Kyle cutting him on Wednesday, threw 53 passes for 312 yards at Lambeau on Thursday, 18.48 on the bench, while Drake watched from the stands.

What the inspection found was 120.08 points and a loss by 16.82. The bench scored 91.96, the most in the league, and the best lineup on the roster, 153.48, beats Kyle by 16. That is two straight losses with a winning team sitting on the bench. The roster now carries seven wide receivers, one of them on injured reserve, and one Jeanty, who plays for Mitch.

Drake is 1–2, sixth in points, and 8–13 against the field. He has spent $35 of his waiver budget on MarShawn Lloyd and Jaxson Dart, and both have been cut. Kyle’s 14–0 start against the field ended without anyone beating him. Drake plays Thomas next in Any Given Sundance. Kyle plays Mitch in the Moth vs. the Curse.