The Sandusky Tribune

Cliff hosted the league in his town, which is also the Hodag’s, and on Thursday night he sat in Lambeau Field and watched Bite’s starters. Bijan Robinson carried 29 times for 194 yards and two touchdowns in Atlanta’s 35–14 win, 35.3. Drake London caught nine of ten targets for 194 more, 28.4. Bite won 163.14 to 112.94, his first win of the season, with the best score in the league and a 7–0 week against the field, his first since Week 12 of last year. The margin, 50.20, is the fifth largest in any Week 3.

The Tribune promised last week to report which way Bite cheered. He cheered for the Packers, out loud, for three hours. When Robinson scored, and when London passed a hundred yards, and when Robinson scored again, he celebrated quietly and without standing up. Matthew Golden, the one Packer he owns, caught five passes for 100 yards and a touchdown and scored 21.0 on his bench. In Week 1 Bite benched Golden at 15.5 and lost by less. In Week 2 he started Golden at 9.8 over Jalen Coker at 14.6. This week he benched Golden for Coker, who scored 3.8.

Lamar Jackson threw two touchdowns and ran for 50 yards in Baltimore’s 34–31 win at Dallas, 20.44. Jaylen Warren, started over Quinshon Judkins on Saturday, had 176 yards from scrimmage in Pittsburgh’s 30–27 win over Cincinnati, 20.6. Davante Adams caught seven passes for 137 yards in the Rams’ 30–26 loss at Denver. Travis Kelce, an $18 claim on Tuesday, caught two passes for 59 yards and a touchdown. Evan McPherson, acquired from Carl on Saturday for another kicker, scored 11. Kyren Williams scored 21.8 on the bench.

Brock Bowers caught ten passes for 116 yards and a touchdown, 27.6 points, from Bite’s injured reserve slot. He was healthy enough to play and was never activated. With Bowers at tight end the best lineup on the roster was 195.24, which leaves 32.10 points unused. It was the best tight end score in the league, and it came from the slot reserved for players who cannot play.

Cliff had the best player in the league and lost by 50. Jahmyr Gibbs ran 20 times for 99 yards and two touchdowns, caught seven passes for 65 and a third, and scored 41.4 in Detroit’s 31–24 win over the Jets. Bryce Young, a $1 claim, started over Drake Maye and threw for 291 yards, 13.64; Maye threw two interceptions and lost a fumble in a 35–6 loss at Jacksonville, 3.76. Christian Watson, acquired from Kyle on Wednesday, caught seven passes for 96 yards and a touchdown at Lambeau the next night, 22.6. Omarion Hampton, who came in the same trade, carried 15 times for 56 yards. Dalton Kincaid fumbled and scored 3.8, Tetairoa McMillan scored 3.7, and the Eagles defense scored −1 on Monday night. Kyle Pitts caught one pass for five yards, on the bench, in person.

Cliff is 1–2 and 5–16 against the field. He has allowed 441.14 points, the fifth most through three weeks in league history, and has drawn the week’s highest score twice in three games. Bite is 1–2, fourth in points, and 12–9 against the field. Cliff leads the series 12–7. Bite plays Carl in the Braxton Bowl. Cliff plays Jordan in the Collusion Cup.

Kyle beat Drake 136.90 to 120.08 and is 3–0. It is his fourth straight win over the commissioner, in a game the two have played in Week 3 every year since 2021, and it puts him ahead in the series 10–9. He is 20–1 against the field, the second-best three-week start in league history behind Cliff’s 21–0 in 2022; the one loss is to Bite, who scored 163 on Sunday. His 494.76 points are the second most through three weeks, behind Drake’s 535.40 in 2020.

This newspaper announced its inspection of the Emporium in last week’s edition. Rhinelander has been through one of these. In the 1890s a man there reported a fearsome beast in the woods, the Smithsonian announced it was coming to look, and the beast turned out to be carved wood. The Emporium was reported in August as possibly the strongest team the league has ever seen. On Saturday night its owner drafted and withdrew three trade offers, two to Carl and one to Cliff, and then sent Ashton Jeanty to Mitch for Justin Jefferson. On Sunday Jefferson caught two passes for 5.2 while Terry McLaurin, Rashee Rice and Zay Flowers scored 50.9 between them on the bench. De’Von Achane hurt his knee on Miami’s first possession and was ruled out with 1.7; the Dolphins’ coach said afterward that it did not sound optimistic. The preseason column said only injuries could derail the team. The juggernaut backfield is now Christian McCaffrey and Chuba Hubbard, the Round 14 pick.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught ten passes for 128 yards and two touchdowns in Seattle’s 33–31 loss at Washington, completed a 14-yard pass, and scored 35.36. James Cook ran 24 times for 154 yards and a touchdown in Buffalo’s 24–16 win over the Chargers, lost a fumble, and scored 19.4 in his first game as an Obliterator. He arrived Wednesday with Sam LaPorta and $15 of waiver money from Cliff, in exchange for Omarion Hampton and Christian Watson. The Tribune’s publisher made that trade, after drafting five versions of it, and now holds $109 of a $100 budget. Hampton and Watson scored 28.2 for Cliff. Cook and LaPorta scored 26.8 for Kyle, 7.4 of it on the bench.

Brock Purdy was the one call Drake got right: 297 yards and four touchdowns in a 36–30 win over Arizona, 31.28. McCaffrey scored 21.6 in the same game. Tyler Warren caught nine passes, Hubbard had 110 yards from scrimmage in the flex, and the Texans defense and Brandon Aubrey scored 10 each. Ladd McConkey, moved in for Flowers late Saturday, scored 10.6 to Flowers’s 15.4. Joe Burrow threw three touchdowns on the bench, 22.58. Jordan Love, picked up within an hour of Kyle cutting him on Wednesday, threw 53 passes for 312 yards at Lambeau on Thursday, 18.48 on the bench, while Drake watched from the stands.

What the inspection found was 120.08 points and a loss by 16.82. The bench scored 91.96, the most in the league, and the best lineup on the roster, 153.48, beats Kyle by 16. That is two straight losses with a winning team sitting on the bench. The roster now carries seven wide receivers, one of them on injured reserve, and one Jeanty, who plays for Mitch.

Drake is 1–2, sixth in points, and 8–13 against the field. He has spent $35 of his waiver budget on MarShawn Lloyd and Jaxson Dart, and both have been cut. Kyle’s 14–0 start against the field ended without anyone beating him. Drake plays Thomas next in Any Given Sundance. Kyle plays Mitch in the Moth vs. the Curse.

Both quarterbacks Thomas Leey drafted were gone by Wednesday, blown up in one waiver run. Jayden Daniels, the eighth-round pick with the elbow, was dropped for Tyler Shough at $16. Justin Herbert, the twelfth-round pick, was dropped for Patrick Mahomes at $21. Thomas started Mahomes, who completed 20 of 24 for 246 yards and two touchdowns in Kansas City’s 24–10 win over Miami and scored 15.94. Shough threw four touchdowns in a 35–27 loss to the Raiders, lost two fumbles, and scored 23.8 on the bench. The Memorial beat Mitch 129.64 to 107.52 anyway, in the first meeting between the two and the one game on the schedule nobody has named.

George Kittle, benched last week at 18.0, started this week and caught six passes for 82 yards and two touchdowns in San Francisco’s 36–30 win over Arizona, 26.2, the best tight end score in the league. Jeremiyah Love, the fourth-round rookie, was on the other side of that game with 21 carries, five catches and a touchdown, 21.9 in the flex. CeeDee Lamb caught seven of eight for 112 yards. Chris Olave, the inherited keeper, caught nine for 107 and is at 70.5 for the season.

The rest was thinner. Jonathan Taylor needed 23 carries to get 68 yards. Breece Hall scored 8.5 while Tee Higgins scored 21.0 on the bench. Trey Smack, the Packers rookie Thomas drafted in the last round, scored 1 at Lambeau with his owner in the stands; the Moth Observer’s preview had Thomas leaning on a good performance from him. The best lineup on the roster was 150.0, and the Memorial left 20.36 on the bench, the most of any winner. On Saturday Kyle picked up Daniels for nothing and put him on injured reserve.

Mitch, after two weeks without a waiver claim, made five and spent $22: Josh Downs at $8, Stefon Diggs at $7, Dalton Schultz at $4, the Panthers defense at $2 and Harrison Butker at $1. He lost a $6 bid on Boston, added two free agents, and on Saturday night traded Justin Jefferson, his second-round pick, to Drake for Ashton Jeanty. Eight players left the roster during the week and nine arrived. Josh Jacobs is back, on injured reserve.

Derrick Henry carried 26 times for 89 yards and two touchdowns in Baltimore’s 34–31 win at Dallas, 21.9, and Javonte Williams scored 18.3 for the other team in the same game. Jeanty scored 12.3 in his first week for Mitch, two points more than he scored for Drake the week before. Downs and DJ Moore had 12.7 each. Schultz, the fourth tight end Mitch has owned this month and the third he has started, scored 6.0; the position has given him 11.5 points in three weeks. On Monday night Jalen Hurts threw for 153 yards and an interception in a 27–7 loss at Chicago and scored 12.62, and Luther Burden caught seven passes and a touchdown for the Bears, 19.8, on Mitch’s bench. Puka Nacua missed a second straight game. The best lineup was 115.02 and loses by 14.

Thomas is 2–1, second in points with 412.54, and 14–7 against the field. Mitch is 1–2 and 7–14. Both have a luck score of exactly zero, so each record is the one the all-play says it should be. Mitch scored 163.92 in Week 1 and has scored 177.98 in the two weeks since. Thomas plays Drake next in Any Given Sundance. Mitch plays Kyle in the Moth vs. the Curse.

Carl beat Jordan 125.36 to 89.56 with the only perfect lineup in the league this week. His best possible nine scored 125.36, and those were the nine he started. Three of them were not in his lineup a week ago. Jared Goff was a free agent until Thursday. Aaron Jones was cut by Kyle on Wednesday and claimed by Carl on Friday for nothing. Ka’imi Fairbairn arrived on Saturday in a trade.

Goff started in place of Caleb Williams, who did not play, and completed 25 of 32 for 269 yards and two touchdowns in Detroit’s 31–24 win over the Jets, 19.36. Garrett Wilson was on the other side of that game with ten catches, 107 yards and a touchdown, 26.7. Ja’Marr Chase caught nine for 98 and a touchdown in Cincinnati’s 30–27 loss at Pittsburgh, 24.8. George Pickens went back into the flex over Malik Nabers and outscored him 15.2 to 7.6. Jones outscored TreVeyon Henderson, the man he replaced, 14.2 to 3.9. On Monday night Saquon Barkley carried 15 times for 82 yards in Philadelphia’s 27–7 loss at Chicago and scored 9.0, which ties his best week of the season, and Colston Loveland caught all four of his targets for 7.1, which is more than five times his season total.

The trade was a kicker for a kicker, the first in the league’s trade log. Bite had claimed Fairbairn off waivers on Thursday, for nothing, after Mitch cut him. On Saturday he sent him to Carl for Evan McPherson, who had been Carl’s best non-receiver in each of the first two weeks. McPherson scored 11 for Bite. Fairbairn scored 5 for Carl. Carl lost the trade by six and won the game by 35.80. He also turned down two other trade proposals during the week, withdrew one of his own, and has still not spent a dollar of his waiver budget.

Jordan’s 89.56 is the lowest score of his ten seasons in the league. The old low was 89.80, in 2022, also in Week 3. Josh Allen threw two interceptions and lost a fumble in Buffalo’s 24–16 win over the Chargers and got to 17.46 only because he ran for two touchdowns; he scored 40.82 a week ago. Jaylen Waddle caught two of seven targets for 6.4. Chase Brown had 8.9. Tucker Kraft had 6.6 at Lambeau with his owner in the building. The Bengals defense, a $1 claim that replaced a 49ers unit coming off a 9, gave up 30 and scored 0. Kenneth Walker scored twice for 21.3 and was the only Ghandi above 18.

Between Saturday evening and Sunday morning Jordan moved Mike Evans and Cam Skattebo in and out of the flex four times. He finished with Evans at receiver, 12.4, DeVonta Smith in the flex, 12.5, and Skattebo on the bench, 13.0. Denzel Boston, for whom he bid $15 against Mitch’s $6 and Bite’s $5, scored 8.1 on the bench. Nico Collins did not play. The best lineup on the roster was 96.16 and loses by 29.

Jordan ranked himself sixth on his poll ballot last week and the site flagged it as a sandbag. The flag is withdrawn. He went 0–7 against the field, is 11–10 for the season, third in points, and 1–2. Carl ranked himself last on the same poll and is 2–1 with 316.64 points, the fewest in the league and the fewest any 2–1 team has had through three weeks; Jordan held the old mark, 325.86, from last year. Jordan leads the series 12–7. Carl plays Bite in the Braxton Bowl. Jordan plays Cliff in the Collusion Cup.