Thomas Kicks Shough to the Bench, Where He Scores 27, and Wins the Schism Anyway
A week after Tyler Shough scored below zero for him, Thomas Lehi kicked him to the bench, where Shough threw three touchdowns, ran for a fourth, and scored 26.96, while Patrick Mahomes, promoted in his place, threw an interception and scored 10.48. Thomas won the first Cheesehead Schism anyway, 104.98 to 95, because Cliff benched Emeka Egbuka late on Saturday night, and is 4–2 and in second place. Drake set a perfect lineup because his bench scored 3.7, and won by 1.76, the closest perfect-lineup win in league history; Jordan ranked himself eighth, benched DeVonta Smith, and lost it. Kyle is 5–1. The bye week took everyone else.
Across: luck Δ, your real win % minus your all-play win %, so right of center means the schedule did you favors. Up: all-play win %, how often your score would have beaten the field. Dashed lines mark break-even luck and a .500 all-play record.
Biggest mover: Drake, from 7th to 5th in all-play.
The last time the Tribune saw Tyler Shough he had completed 16 of 25 for 96 yards and two interceptions, finished at minus 0.16, and taken Thomas Lehi to 37.34, the lowest full-lineup score in league history. On Wednesday night Thomas did what a man does after a week like that. He kicked Shough to the bench and promoted Patrick Mahomes, back from his bye, the safe choice, the one with the trophies. On Sunday Shough completed 16 of 30 for 144 yards and three touchdowns, ran for a fourth, and led New Orleans to 34 consecutive points against the Giants, 26.96, the fifth-best score in the league this week, from the bench. Mahomes completed 23 of 30 for 272 yards and an interception in a 22–6 win in which both Chiefs touchdowns were scored by Kenneth Walker, who plays for Jordan, 10.48. The swing was 16.48. Thomas has now started the wrong quarterback in three of the last four weeks, by eight, by one and by sixteen; in the fourth, Mahomes was on bye, the choice made itself, and it scored minus 0.16.
He won anyway, 104.98 to 95, and the first Cheesehead Schism was decided by Trey Smack. The Moth had written on Thursday that either loyalty or questionable judgement was keeping the Packers kicker on Thomas’s roster and that he should be cut. Smack kicked three field goals in Green Bay’s 23–13 win over Dallas on Sunday night, 12.0, outscored Cliff’s Christian Watson, 9.4, in the Packers-fan-against-Packers-fan subplot, and outscored Mahomes. Jonathan Taylor scored 21.1 with a lost fumble, George Kittle 17.9 on Monday night, CeeDee Lamb 16.0 on eighteen targets, and the Rams defense, signed Wednesday night to replace the Cowboys defense cut on Tuesday, allowed six Arizona field goals and scored 2.0. Cliff lost it late on Saturday night, when he moved Emeka Egbuka to his bench to make room for A.J. Brown, fresh off injured reserve. Egbuka scored 17.8 and Brown 5.7, and Cliff’s best lineup, 110.7, beats Thomas by six. Thomas is 4–2 and in second place, and the matrix, which runs on points scored and allowed, lists him in Unlucky and Bad, which the Tribune has referred to the matrix. The sons’ side kicked one child in Wisconsin. The Memorial has now kicked one quarterback, and he scored 27 from where he landed.
Drake, meanwhile, ended four straight losses by 1.76 with the first perfect lineup of his season, set the way the Emporium does everything, by accident. Justin Jefferson and the Vikings defense were on bye. Rashee Rice, Deebo Samuel and Zach Charbonnet were on the roster and not on the field. Terry McLaurin caught one pass for 27 yards. That is the whole bench, 3.7 points from six men, so every starter outscored every reserve and the template calls it perfect. Going into Monday night Jordan had 111.70 with Mike Evans still to play and Drake had 77.80 with Purdy and McCaffrey. Evans caught three for 94, which set the number at 46.31, and then McCaffrey ran for two touchdowns, caught nine passes, lost a fumble, and scored 30.7, and Purdy threw for 264 and scored 17.36, and the two of them made 48.06. The fumble cost two. No perfect lineup in the league’s history has won by less; the old mark was Bite’s 2.48 in a playoff week two years ago. Drake has lost two games this season with the winning points on his bench. This week there were no points on his bench to lose with. He is 2–4, out of last place, and the column that could not survive 1–4 has not reached the rankings desk since Week 3.
Jordan ranked himself eighth on the Coaches Poll on Wednesday morning, below Drake, which was the most modest ballot of the week and is, under the league’s standing ruling, a sandbag. By Monday night it was reporting. On Tuesday he had moved Denzel Boston into his lineup and Mike Evans to the flex, which left DeVonta Smith on the bench, where Smith caught seven passes and a touchdown for 20.5 while Boston caught one for 15 yards and 2.5. Start Smith and Jordan wins by 16. He has now lost three games this season with a winning lineup sitting on his roster, in Weeks 1, 5 and 6, and would be 5–1 if he had found it. He is 2–4 with 830.76 points, which is the second-most anyone has scored through six weeks and lost four, and second in all-play at 26–16. The matrix has him Unlucky and Good and alone, which is the quadrant for men who are right about everything except the lineup.
The rest of the paper is the bye week. Four NFL teams sat and took Joe Burrow, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Sam LaPorta, Jahmyr Gibbs, Ja’Marr Chase, Aaron Jones, Ollie Gordon, Justin Jefferson and Tee Higgins with them, and the league scored 907.78 points between eight teams, its sixth-lowest week since the scoring changed in 2019. Kyle won it at 141.30, with Trevor Lawrence throwing four touchdowns at Wembley on his bench behind Jayden Daniels, and is 5–1 on 915.44 points, the most anyone has scored through six weeks in the current era and three points short of his own 2018 mark. Mitch scored 83.32, with a tight end who scored nothing and a defense that scored less than nothing, and is 2–4 along with Jordan, Drake and Cliff, which is four teams tied for fifth and two of them in the matrix’s bottom-left corner. Bite is 4–2 after cutting Travis Kelce for a kicker who outscored him. Carl paid ten dollars for Jordan Love, cut Jared Goff, and is 3–3. Nobody else did anything the paper has room for.